Thursday, May 03, 2007

Tick Tock.

Tick Tock.

Walking out of my first and probably only serious relationship after graduation, I learnt that everything that happens to me is my doing… I let loose, did whatever I wanted, traveled all over the country, danced piss drunk at innumerable weddings, traveled ticket less with 50 rupees from Delhi to Bbay, worked in a call centre, left the country, had 3 jobs in 2 and a half years, was detained at Dubai airport for 12 hours…drove rickshaws in Bombay, drove a cab form VT to home in powai, got ma heart tossed around and probably hurt a few myself, had some real close drunk and riding/driving calls during street races (thank god for standing by me), started a company, signed on some big deals…and this was all because I was finding myself. Trying to understand the equation between this world and me.

Then, BOOM! She happens. I had myself convinced that whatever happens, there is nothing that can stop me from bouncing back. And now for the first time it dawned upon me that there are situations you don’t want to bounce back from…

I have always enjoyed telling a story, and what better place to get them from than your own life. Just spoke to a friend and she told me that in life it all boils down to two words “I want”. Everything is around this, how bad, what you are ready to do, experience, lose… I have an illustrious past and it has been difficult to express how badly I want this story. I am not bothered about the ending or the chapters, because that can change, evolve, excite…whatever…it’s the beginning that worries me. It’s “not in my court.”

One of the worst things that has happened to me is that I realised that all those idioms, wiseman sayings that I learnt in school to garnish the English essays are actually true.

Patience is a golden virtue. Good things come to those who wait. Love does not survive on fresh air and water. The ones, which I have developed, the most irritation towards are “give it time” and “it all works out well in the end.”

Don’t people realise that if you give it time then, that much time is what you’ll have to make up for…I know, I know, less than optimum time makes half cooked meals…

What does time do? It just makes you agree with what you saw a while ago…Instinct is the cure to time. People should sharpen their instincts. Save TIME. Don’t be scared to feel, and if you do, don’t fear expression, its better out there than in you.

I really want to know of an unbelievable feat that was achieved without taking ‘the plunge.” Yes, I have been called a stupid optimist. The best part is when they who call me the same wonder how I have what I do. Modest, aren’t I? (Laugh!!)

Now, on a genuine level… MAAA… (Tantrum!!) Make this happen.

3 Comments:

Blogger Angel said...

:-)
I was waiting for this entry...I knew it was only a matter of days before I'd get to read about your feelings regarding this 'situation' and the word used most oft as a solution to it 'time'..... I actually giggled to myself when I read the last line...I could well imagine it!!
However, I hope you've realised that you've somehow answered your own unspoken questions yourself in this entry.....Retrospect and you'd realize how you've more or less achieved what you've wanted in life. As your friend told you, it actually really is all about how much you really want something....that is what determines the intensity & the importance of that want for you.And I know I'm not wrong to presume that this isn't just a want...it has become a need. Or is probably on it's way to become one....You're close to it & you know it.Maybe that's the one apprehension you have about this. Apart from of course, the lack of patience.You have your answers dude, the question is, are you ready to accept those answers?You know what is required, but are you ready to implement? Patience is but another synonym for time...do we have it in us?Are we ready to develop it for this want, this need? I think we both have the answers..... :-)

10:39 AM  
Blogger Wrd_Nrgy said...

well it seems like you have an angel who believes in you.....full power to you and smile brother....a twist in Tony Monatana's wrds..the WOrld is OURS...
peace and light.

1:16 PM  
Blogger ]\[ ][ '][' ][ said...

u put it well..but cant help disagreeing in some places...
often, time makes you realise that you probably were looking through a frosted glass. Time clears the mist, brings clarity. it heals and brings along selective amnesia! its better to spend time before than WASTE more after, to mend things that didnt work out the way you hoped they would. it takes time to even sharpen instincts! a lotta feats didnt happen bcoz the plunge was taken at the wrong time. (mind person..i know :))

4:37 AM  

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